Profanity-Laced Articles Littering The Internet
Lord, tarnation! What’s the deal with cursing and profanity-laced articles these days? All these young whippersnappers and scalawags producing content and blogging like the dickens, throwing in curse word after curse word, willy-nilly. If this is one of those “trends”, I definitely don’t want any part of it. Dagnabbit…it’s enough to make you want to scheissen on the spot.
My guess is those who indulge in the activitiy think it enhances the message; makes it more profound; and adds more umm…meaning. Well, consarn it and a pox on them, I say. Two can play at that game. I’m up for the challenge. I won’t let them sons of beavers get the better of me. So get ready for some harsh language, folks. And accept my apologies in advance for offending anyone.
On a personal level and with friends, it may not seem like a serious infraction. Heck, I’ve been known to drop the occasional eff-bomb or two (or maybe more, but who’s counting and that’s not the point…). But in business…well, crapadoodlitis, I don’t dare. Profanity-laced articles and business discussions are just not my bag.
Now imagine if everyone and their grandmother filled their business content with profanity. I mean, what in Sam Hill do you think would happen?
The entire business world would take a giant swirly down the crapper. It could happen, you know.
The truth is if you want to come off like a professional, and as a confident, intelligent business owner, it’s best not to appear like a muck-spout. There’s only so many sards one can give and tolerate before the profanity becomes excessive and you declare, “Qualem blennum, just stop”, under your breath.
Sadly, many proponents of profanity take the position, “I’ll swear if I want, and if you don’t like it, sard-off”, believing they’re making a bold statement. Their belief is, speaking or writing like this makes them appear more natural, approachable and affable, and cooler to the younger folk and prospects. They just don’t give a flying shite.
Ultimately, they will likely end up with a following of like-minded fans. To each his own, I guess. It’s your swirly. Enjoy it.
Taking A Stand
Look, if others enjoy profanity-laced articles and the like that’s fine. But I don’t want to see the complete collapse of politesse, proprieties, pleasantries and respect amongst business partners, colleagues and client/vendor relationships due to an abundance of feculence in the air.
I mean, holy bejabbers, how much value would our content or words convey when laced with profanity on a consistent basis? Many bloody good messages would come off as being a brash, offensive and meaningless pile of merde. To me, what’s the point? Who’s going to read your stuff or want to listen to you if they have to wince in disgust or dismay during the experience?
I guess I’m old-school and believe in maintaining some decorum through writing. My goal is to attract clients, not repel them. Chances are, I’m not alone.
So deodamnatus, let’s stand up for clean, appropriate, value-laden content and language. Darn those rapscallions who insist on littering social platforms and interweb content with their scitte and profanity-laced articles.
On the other hand, the solution may be to revert to using old-timey potty words again. A case of “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em”. After all, these old terms seem quite tame compared to some of today’s gifts to grammar. Besides…they provide entertainment value. And consarn it, I’m all about entertainment and value, so…
Again, I say…A pox on them.
Profanity Terms Index
For your awareness and amusement (in case you’re not familiar with old-timey profanity):
Scalawag, rapscallion – rogue (usually reserved for low-down cheats, and down-right vile personalities)
Muck-spout – someone who not only talks a lot, but who seems to constantly swear.
Sard – (verb) substitute for the “eff” word. i.e. sard off
Consarn it – darn it
Bejabbers – Said as an exclamation, as a version of “Sh*t!”. Usually used as, “Holy Bejabbers!” Or, “You scared the living bejabbers out of me!”
Zounds – one of the more serious curses of the medieval era. Sample sentence: “Oh zounds, it’s the IRS.”
Drat – a mild expression of annoyance or anger
Crapadoodleitis – another great word for “holy sh*t”. (Note: My own word creation, going back to my days as an Administrative Professional. I’m quite proud of this one, if I do say so myself. )
Tarnation – exclamation – for damnation
Son of a beaver – euphemism for “son of a b**ch” (Note: Likely only heard in Canada, eh)
Thunderation! – A substitute for “damnation,” similar to “tarnation” and “botheration. (Note: saying WTF is overdone. Try “What in thunderation?” instead to get attention).
A pox on – use to express anger or intense irritation with someone or something – i.e. a pox on you and your (it’s like placing a curse on someone) (Note: You don’t want to be on the receiving end of this person’s tongue-lashing).
Flabbergasted – greatly astonished (Note: I know…not really profane, but it conveys the total extent of one’s feeling aghast, and it’s amusing).
Sam Hill – i.e. the devil or hell. Use in a phrase like, “what in Sam Hill” which (what the hell?); Or, use as “where in Sam Hill” (where the hell?) (Note: This Sam Hill character must have made himself the horrid reputation to have his name taken in vein like that…Sheesh!)
Whippersnapper – A person regarded as insignificant and pretentious, or A young person. (Note: Highly insulting term, I daresay. Not sure I’d survive it without breaking into tears).
Deodamnatus – dammit
Qualem blennum!” – What a doofus!
And my favourite (I saved it for last)…
Merde – sh*t (Fr.) / Scitte and shite – sh*t (Old English) Scheissen – sh*t (verb) (German) / Feculence (noun) – sh*t (Latin) / Cambronne – “poop,” (Fr.) (Note: Also used in French to wish someone luck before going on stage, i.e. “break a leg” – but that’s not what we’re using it for here.)
If you were amused by this (ahem) profanity-laced article and wish to comment, or have some interesting words to add to the old-timey list, I’d love to hear from you. (Note: No vulgar terms please. This is all in jest). Share your colourful insights below.
And thank you for your sense of humour.
About The Author, Shelly Moreau
Shelly specializes in writing real estate descriptions, applying seven principles of effective sales writing. She also publishes a regular blog series and YouTube videos, sharing usable writing and marketing tips with small-business owners. Her prior career and experience as an administrative professional (for nearly 30 years) plays an integral role in how she works with, plans and strategizes with clients from varied industries for better results in their writing and marketing efforts.
To date, Shelly is author of five publications on the subjects of copywriting principles, real estate writing, direct mail marketing, and strategic planning, with the following titles:
✓ Your Strategy to Succeed – The What, The Why, The How of Strategic Planning;
✓ A Realtor’s Checklist To Boost Sales Results From Property Descriptions – Your Resource for Productivity and Prosperity;
✓ Easy Direct Mail To Create Small-Business Profits – A Step-By-Step Guide To Marketing Success;
✓ Essential Writing Elements To Improve Marketing Results – A Guide to Better Promotions and Content; and coming soon…
✓ Direct Success – Mailing (Your Way) To Prosperity (available exclusively to members of Cafewriter.com)
[/author] For more information, check out the details here.
Most recently, Shelly added “Teacher” to her list of skills, presenting an on-line course through Skillshare.com. The course is called, Better (and Easier) Strategic Planning for Small-business Owners and Solo Entrepreneurs. And you can find more details, here.